I feel like in the same way that Riverdale was the last of longform episodic teen television, Riverdale may also be the last of my unhealthy obsessions. Nothing else will ever compare to it, and it exited my life at the same time my brain started to feel like it was done cooking.
I started watching Riverdale when it first came out in 2017 (buzz was huge in my high school during my gr 12 year because classmates were having public Cole Sprouse sightings in the city) but I dropped it at some point during s2. I grew up reading the old single and double digests of the comics and felt the show was insulting the source material, plus my teenhood was spent raised on Steven Universe discourse so the show was needlessly edgy and sexy and ‘problematic’ in my eyes. I disliked the show to the point where I got in an argument with my friend who was telling me it was good writing and I was telling her she was objectively incorrect.
(Years later I messaged my friend to formally apologize and admit that I was wrong. She replied back to say she didn’t remember the argument and also didn’t care because she stopped watching after s1 and also that that was the first time in our 10 year friendship that she ever heard me admit I was wrong.)
I started watching again in 2020 when Netflix dropped the 1.5x speed feature bc I thought that would be a fun way to experience the show. I started it from the beginning again w my sister and mom with a renewed mindset. We rang in 2021 with a three hour Riverdale watch session running over the midnight fireworks outside.
We eventually had to banish our mom from watching with us because she didn’t Get It. Asked too many questions. Called it Stupid too often. We weren’t there for that anymore. We were along for the ride. My sister moved out and then so did I (not because of the Riverdale hate. To be clear.) but as season 5 and 6 and 7 aired we still watched the new episodes every week together on facetime. Eventually we dropped the 1.5x speed thing in order to just properly savour and enjoy it. I talked to all my middle aged coworkers about it against their will. I witnessed literally anything anywhere and thought to myself “just like Riverdale”.
unsolicited Riverdale References
- repainting the office.
asked colleague what colours.
"blue and gold I think"
"The Blue and Gold is the name of the Riverdale High School Newspaper." 
- "so the Advanced Program will be called AP, and the Foundational Program will be called FP."
"FP is Jughead's dad's name on Riverdale" 
Fresh off a nervous breakdown and still trying to cope with the ongoing Covid isolation of 2021, the weekly Riverdale watch sessions were literally the highlight of basically every week for me. and even as life started sucking less over time, Riverdale was still there brightening every week. I loved it and it was Television and it was everything. The last of its kind. I will miss it forever. Probably just never gonna watch tv ever again
The thing about Riverdale is that you have to get it. if you can meet Riverdale where it's at, you are guaranteed an exceptional viewing experience because there is truly no other show out there like it. Riverdale is about looking at beautiful people in situations for forty five minutes at a time. and my god are they situations.
Riverdale also features the greatest television character of all time: Cheryl Blossom
click for my in-depth Riverdale Musical Episode Rankings
Splitting rankings into categories for my own sake: Songs (ranked on both quality and integration), Plot (entertainment value of the storyline points featured), and Iconry (ratio of special/memorable/iconic lines and scenes)
#6. American PsychoSongs ⭐️⭐️
Plot ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Iconry ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I remember somehow being underwhelmed when I first watched this because I had really hyped myself up after reading the episode description. But now in a post-50sdale world, I realize how lucky we were with this one. We got SlaughterCon, Cheryl and Kevin hexing Toni and Fangs, Betty being gay, Kevin not warning Betty in advance that he added a bit to his musical number where Doctor Curdle Jr dresses as TBK and then getting visibly annoyed with her when she interrupts it fearing for his life, Betty finally killing TBK and he’s literally just wrapped in duct tape and garbage bags, AS WELL AS Archie’s Labour Union all in one episode. However, since this IS a ranking of musical episodes, I’m afraid I can’t let the incredible plot compensate too much for the lack of strong musical bangers.
Stand out lines:
“It’s your dad’s knife. I bought it on eSlay.”
“Betty Cooper, are you hot for agent Drake?”
“You’re one of us. An American Psycho.”
Not a line but shoutout to Lili Reinhart’s cleavage in You Are What You Wear.
#5. Carrie
Songs ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Plot ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Iconry ⭐️⭐️⭐️️⭐️️️
Cheryls heavily autotuned explosion into “THATS NOT MY NAAAAAAAME” will forever tickle me. And her finale drenching herself in blood and coming to her mother with the candelabra to threaten burning down their mansion for a second time is one of the top ten Cheryl Blossom moments for all time. Everything about the presence of Alice Cooper also kills me like she is IN this high school musical. Madchen I could listen to pitch correction software fighting for its life against your dulcet tones forever. I read in a Twitter thread by the duo who produces all the Riverdale music that Madchen had literally never sung in her entire life prior to this episode. And they still gave her a solo. Amazing. The plot doesn’t carry as much weight for me in this one but the I love the integration of the music, and it also gave us the first ever Beronica duet and Fifi appearance. Oh and rip Midge!
Stand Out Lines:
“I will not succumb to thespian terrorism!” “I’m not the same girl who burned down Thornhill.” “Sure you are!”
“Nightmare child, what do you want from me?!”
#4. Next to Normal
Songs ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Plot ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Iconry ⭐️⭐️
This one has real emotional impact okay. It was genuinely moving. I love when the musical episodes tackle a huge range of plot lines and still try to apply the niche musical choice of the season to each of them. We have Cooper grieving & family choreography and spite-Jabitha and Cheryl attacking her mother with song & holy water and Varchie being useless and Britta becoming Cheryl’s little child servant/protege. Reggie is there too. Also all of the music hits for real. It’s a shame that “I Am The One” and “I’m Alive” had so much cut in the ep because the spectres of Polly and Charles are killing it on the harmonies in the full versions. I could listen to Lili Reinhart sing all day long. Above all though I think my favourite part is the uncanny photoshop of Alice and Betty and Polly in front of the Next to Normal Broadway poster.
Stand Out Lines:
“YOU’VE GOT SOME NERVE JUGHEAD, AND I’M JUST ALL NERVES!”
“I’m gonna eat in the garage.”
“You remind me of Hiram Lodge.” “I don’t know who that is. But please, have a Swelligrino for the road.”
#3. Heathers
Songs ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Plot ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Iconry ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Guys It’s so crazy that Midge literally died in the middle of our musical last year. Anyway time for Heathers! Something fun about this episode is that I first watched it before I was fully Riverdalepilled and was still foolishly rolling my eyes at the show while I watched with my mom and sister. I was like “guys Heathers is actually a great musical, it’s going to be hard for me to see what Riverdale does to it”. We began watching and very soon my mom and sister were commenting on the music. It quickly dawned on me that they were complaining about the aspects of the show that were more or less unchanged from the original musical. And I had a great epiphany moment where I realized 1) Heathers is sort of bad 2) if I loved Heathers the musical in earnest then why should I not love Riverdale? Heathers was actually PERFECTLY CRAFTED to be performed by the Riverdale cast. Anyway. This episode had a lot going for it. Lodge divorce arc straight into Veronica partying. Kevin’s sudden perm. Toni’s threesome fake out. Our favourite Chad Michael Murray Rhythmic cult clapping. And of course KJ Apa doing this
Stand Out Lines
“Did you have a lobotomy for breakfast?”
“Here I invented red. I AM red. *snaps*”
“Evelyn called a closed rehearsal for select members in the Gargoyle Chamber.”
#2. Archie the Musical
Songs ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Plot ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Iconry ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
This one had EVERYTHINGGGGGGGG. Fun with the meta narrative and original songs mixed with covers taken from various obscure and specific sources and by far some of the most fun choreography and sets of all musical episodes since they were able to be so free with it. Seeing Gay Kevin back in his natural habitat of directing the school musical was so heartwarming. Jughead and Reggie quitting immediately. Archie going left. And Archie going right. Bisexually. Julian demolishing Archie vocally every chance he gets. And knowing it. Also every single facial expression and mannerism that Julian has in this episode is god tier. Actually kj apa too. Actually also Lili and Camilla. SANDWICH? The loudest in-song sound effects we’ve ever experienced. Archie the happiest he’s ever been in his life on the back of Toni’s bike. BERONICA - PRIMAL AND INTENSE! My review is barely coherent because this one does fill me with silly giddy joy. Plot loses a star because how the hell are we expected to care about Gay Kevin’s divorcing parents. I know “ohh suffering isn’t a competition ohhh” Ethel just watched her parents get murdered by a milkman and no one sang for her.
Stand Out Lines:
“I don’t wanna be a drip, but it’s super distracting when my understudy is singing literally at the same time as me!”
“You completely captured the longing of being in a queer, interracial relationship in the 1950s.”
“Maybe there are other more emotionally complex mountains to climb.”
“The new Archie, Julian, he’s even better than the real Archie!”
#1. Hedwig and the Angry Inch
Songs ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Plot ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Iconry ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
On a 9 hour flight to Europe in the Summer I had all the Riverdale musical eps downloaded to rewatch and then noticed that among the plane’s complimentary movie selections was the original movie of Hedwig and the Angry Inch, which was pure kismet. I decided to watch the movie for the first time prior to rewatching the Riverdale ep and I was blown away. Knowing the context of all the songs and musical they chose to include in the episode made everything so much more insane. The song about feeling like a stranger in your body after surgical malpractice being used for the Bughead conflict over Juggie prioritizing mysteries over finishing high school and Varchie conflict over Archie not telling Veronica about her dad’s epic fail at the gym. 20? something year old gay Kevin proclaiming WE ARE GENERATION Z before jumping into Random Number Generation. The BIZARRELY spliced version of the best ever rendition of Origin of Love all for BARCHIE FODDER?!? Actually all the rest of the songs were perfectly fitting no notes. Anyway hallway full of students in Hedwig drag one of the top Riverdale shots ever though I forever mourn KJ Apa’s absence. At least he got to kiss a man in this one. The plane hit turbulence while I watching the Midnight Radio scene but I was so happy witnessing it in that moment that I thought to myself “it would be ok if I died right now”.
Stand Out Lines:
“Writing a book report? Now I know how Sisyphus must have felt.”
“It celebrates identities, genders, expressions of all kinds.”
“[scoffs] How queer-phobic of you.”
“There’s a problem that comes once you get caught up on your homework. Your mind wanders and evil creeps back in.”
I was convinced Archie the Musical would come out on top for me due to the obscene level of euphoria I felt upon first experiencing it but after intensive review I do have to say Hedwig wins. Ultimately I miss the original timeline that much and I am all for the events that eventually tear apart everyone’s relationships and most of all it gave us Origin of Love full version Riverdale cast edition. But know that it is so so so so so close between the two. And honestly really all 6 are close in my heart as this exercise reminded me just how much fun the musical episodes are to watch and rewatch.
my personal Riverdale fanart
iconic Riverdale posting
Required Reading: The Jarchie Longcon Explained
the Riverdale Warehouse Sale
scenes from a former Riverdale shooting lot
As Riverdale wrapped in 2023, they held a huge warehouse sale for both used and unused costumes from the show's wardrobe. I called in sick to work and drove 45minutes with my girlfriend to stand outside in the hot summer sun and almost go vasovagal while waiting another 45min to be let inside. I was unfathomably overwhelmed by the absurd amount of clothing and accessories to browse (over 30,000 items) but I did what I had to do. We had to wait another hour and a half INSIDE just to get to the cash register check out but it was worth every moment.
my final haul.
most of the clothes I got still had the tags on them, meaning they likely weren't used in the show, but I did snag the boxing shorts from Season 3 and the basketball shorts from Season 7, as well as the River Vixens Cheerleader socks and one of Ethel's bows! and of course the Riverdale Nurse uniform
i had two notable run-ins with Riverdale cast members during their five year filming run:
- attending the Nathan For You live show, sitting ready in my seat, only to see Camila Mendes and Gay Kevin heading my way. Camila politely said “excuse me” so I could let her pass to get to her seat and I pretended not to be starstruck
- shopping for art supplies at an Opus store when I was suddenly overcome with a sick, heavy sensation of pure dread throughout my entire body. turned to my left and saw Cole Sprouse browsing the acrylic paints
my kj apa car air freshener. i got it in the scent 'sandalwood' because i thought that was kinda archiecore. it made my car smell so pungent that i got nauseous every time i drove for two weeks
favourite Riverdale AMVs
WOULD'VE COULD'VE SHOULD'VE ARCHIE & HIRAM AMV
ARCHIE BEING A LITTLE GUY
(this section contains Death Note spoilers. I feel this is a comical sentence to write in 2025 but I managed to go ten years of my life online without Death Note being spoiled for me before watching it so I feel the need to offer this opportunity to others.)
I somehow managed to engage with Death Note in the most backwards imaginable manner. I spent my teenhood watching pretty standard entry level anime for the time (2012-2016), but somehow Death Note never made it on my radar. My first proper introduction to it was the rage reaction from the internet in 2017 when Netflix dropped an American live action movie version.
On a whim on a random 2017 Tuesday morning while cleaning my bedroom I put on the Netflix live action Death Note movie in the background and that was my first ever engagement with the IP. As an outsider to the series the movie was like fine. Like bad but in a fun sort of way. Also lowkey a stacked cast.
that did pique my interest for the series though and I ended up watching the anime (subbed) every night when I came home from the office job I accidentally got that was stressing the living hell out of me as a socially anxious nineteen year old with no life experience or people skills. Around the halfway point through the series I had the sweetly naive and innocent thought of "I wonder if anyone has ever thought to ship Light Yagami and L?". I read one fanfic that night and then the next day I watched the episode where L died and I felt SOOOOOO bad. This was before I could understand that the fact Light killed L actually makes their relationship even more charged and interesting. But anyway.
I just sort of loved Death Note. It is just so much stupid fun. It had so much to say yet nothing to say at all. I revisited it every year or two afterwards and watched through the English dub a few times (THE ENGLISH DUB IS REALLY GOOD. I DON'T WANT TO HEAR OTHERWISE. ALESSANDRO JULIANI IS THE PERFECT L and ONLY BRAD SWAILLE COULD GIVE THE PERFECT DERANGED STILTED LINE DELIVERIES THAT LIGHT YAGAMI DESERVES.) and it was just like. My fun little show. Not a ton of strong feelings about it, it was just like good and fun.
In 2022, I stumbled across the first six volumes of the Death Note manga in pristine condition at a thrift store on sale for $1.00 each. The Death Note manga cover art is still some of my favourite art ever to this day and I had no choice but to make use of the deal and then go home and order the other six volumes off ThriftBooks. This was the beginning of my Manga Year and an intensified love of Death Note that I didn't know I was capable of.
I was consumed. the art in the manga goes crazy. Ohba is a maniac. Obata is also a maniac for writing this story that, like I said, is somehow simultaneously so fucking good and so fucking bad all at once. It makes my head spin. but also the manga spends more time with the characters than the anime, and I found myself deeply endeared to everyone involved in the story.
Eventually I had no choice but to look for more. I read the novels. I watched the musical. I read the spin off short comics. Where Donald Trump is there. I read all I could and then I rewatched the anime again. I bought a Death Note mug.
MY DEFINITIVE OPINIONS ON THE MANGA VS THE ANIME
each version of the story is better in some ways and worse in others. I think the ideal order to engage is to watch the anime first and then read the manga if you have a lot of fun.- MANGA NOTES
- better post-L second half. easier to care about Mello and Near and Sidoh and the like because we spend more time with them. they are actually a lot of fun and I really love them all.
- to me it is CRUCIAL that L, Near, and Mello all have the same soulless black eyes. the anime giving Mello blue eyes was despicable.
- Near's all white fit in the manga is vastly superior to his blue pants in the anime. differentiates him from L a bit more and it's COOLER!
- mentions by name the Legend Icon and Star that is Justin the Jewel Skeleton
forget Light and L my favourite Death Note Character is Justin The Jewel Skeleton
- ANIME NOTES
- L x Light Nation. more scene additions for the two of them, most of which are intensily homoerotic.
- the very end is everything. i NEED the bookend of L's spectre appearing before Light in his dying moments. also it didn't just completely forget about Misa. also the manga ending was so fucking random.
- the soundtrack is incredible
WHAT WAS THE REASON FOR ADDING THIS.
LIGHT AND L
I hate these bitches so much. Like I don’t really like them in any sort of Normal romantic relationship but like they are gay. they’ve got the homoerotic tension they’ve got Light ignoring beautiful women because he can’t stop thinking about L they’ve been handcuffed together they stood out in the rain. Light was L’s only friend except that he wasn’t because L lied about that like he does about everything but he was one of his few intellectual equals and they were obsessed with each other and with winning and L was the only person that wasn’t one of Lights pawns who knew the truth about him. They may have been friends under different circumstances or they may have still hated each other for their similarities. They are each other’s undoing they are the last thing the other sees before they die and it couldn’t have ended any other way. Also L basically sucked Lights toes
my all time favourite Death Note fanart. perfect encapsulation of their dynamic and therefore the core of the series. thank you tumblr user pontah.
MY FANART
my contributions to the Kira Kira zine in 2024
POSTING HALL OF FAME
degrassi
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other unfortunately formative pieces of media that shaped me as a 12 to 22 year old which may have their own shrines in the future:
- The Locked Tomb Series
- Ouran High School Host Club
- mp100
- it's always sunny in philadelphia
- CATS
- dtwof
- Murdoch Mysteries
- Monster High
- Warrior Cats
- doawk
- general list of fave books maybe
-
media log 2025 (everything I've watched & read) (i will give this it's own cuter page eventually)
- Severance, seasons 1 & 2
- Love is Blind, season 8
- The White Lotus, seasons 1, 2, & 3
- Bad Blood: Secrets and Lies in a Silicon Valley Start Up by John Carreyrou (reread)
- Knocked Up (2007)
- This is Forty (2012)
- Cocaine Bear (2023)
- a few sporadic episodes of season 2 of House MD
- The Happy Couple by Naoise Dolan
- Yellowjackets, season 3 (started)
- Kevin Can Go F*** Himself, seasons 1 & 2
- The Three Musketeers (play, live)
- Heathers: The Musical (college production, live)
- Hunger's Bite by Taylor Robin
- Monster High: Why Do Ghouls Fall In Love? (2012) (rewatch)
- Ma-ma / Rock and Roll Wolf (1976)
- Doctor Odyssey, season 1
- Mickey 17 (2025)
- Coco (2017)
- Strange Bedfellows by Ariel Slamet Ries
- Heartstopper, season 3
- Sunrise on the Reaping by Suzanne Collins
- Sing (2016) (rewatch)
- Sing 2 (2021) (rewatch)
- Sing: Thriller (2023)
The Little Mermaid 3 (2008) - Sing (live children's theatre version)
- The Pitt, season 1