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dream log

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1/10/2025

intensely vivid dreams in which I contracted botulism from the Itty Bitty Pickles I had eaten in real life the night before. the nightmares were between fits of real life sleep paralysis which certainly did not help the situation. woke up dizzy and nauseous, also not helping things, came to work four hours late and spent the entire rest of my shift google botulism symptoms and convincing myself I was losing feeling in my arms and face.

12/29/2024

I had a birthday party in this enormous aquatic centre and then stuck around late afterwards. it turned out to be the location of the very last Taylor Swift eras tour concert. I accidentally had front row seats from the location of my party. I thought "well I’m here anyway, I’ll see the first song at least then head out."
since it was an aquatic centre, it was like a big stage in the middle of a huge pool and then another ledge around the perimeter of the water. Taylor started singing and jumped in the water and was swimming. Then I spotted Kayley in her Taylor Halloween costume (which was kind of rude because she did not attend my birthday party a mere hour prior at the same location) and then SHE jumped into the water too and was chosen as the Special Taylor Fan In The Water and got to swim dance with her.
that went on for a while and I was like "ok that’s enough I’m gonna head out". I tried to leave but by then Taylor was up on the platform with her background dancers and I accidentally got SO in her way and I was really embarassed and apologizing and she was like “I get it girl. You gotta go on your SMOKE BREAK 😉” and the whole audience clapped and cheered and chanted SMOKE BREAK which in this universe was like some kind of Taylor Swift lyric Easter egg famous quote thing so everyone loved it. and so I left and then discovered my car got towed

10/5/2023

I was driving around South America with my sister, several coworkers, several people that don’t exist, and Cole Sprouse, who I was refusing to call anything except Jughead and he hated me so much

9/26/2023

had a dream that the world was ending so they put on one last giant concert where the top 100 songs of all of history were decided upon and the artists who created them were all going to go on stage and perform them live. And let me tell you the Riverdale Cast was SWEEPING.

1/19/2023

the entire office was doing a team bonding activity which was climbing Mount Everest. I felt the real time agony and suffering of climbing up this steep miserable incline of almost 90 degrees and I kept slipping backwards off of it. I finally had to do some rock climbing maneuvers and was just about to vault over the ledge when suddenly a random woman was there holding a Pringle to my mouth to eat and I was like um ok and ate it then heaved over the ledge.
my coworkers were already at the picnic tables at the base chatting and waiting. I was like “is this like called something? Like can I say I crossed a certain threshold or anything” and a girl beside me was like “no! I’m mad too! This is just nothing” and I was like jesus that was so hard and it’s nothing? we kept chatting and then Kate was holding a Starbucks caramel macchiato with huge globs of bright purple taro in it and was like “the ubereats that Caitlin ordered is here” and I was like “she ordered ubereats to mt Everest?!? I am literally carrying Starbucks in my bag for her already where is she” and Kate was like “she’s being shy and hiding in the outhouses”.
me and Cindy were talking about how we wanted to turn back because it was too hard and I said “plus we have all those students in that dance competition we should get back to” and Cindy was like “yeah but that’s in the Philippines” and pulled up a black and white grainy livestream of the kids at the dance competition in the Philippines and [REDACTED] was doing a contemporary trio with [REDACTED] and [REDACTED] with intense and questionable family dynamic themes.
eventually I return home thinking “I’m so glad I gave up on Mount Everest. but I must now pray that no tragedy befalls my colleagues who are still trying to face the mountain…”

3/20/2021

one of the longest most convoluted dreams of my life. it literally took course over an entire year and felt so vivid that I kept half waking up and thinking it was reality.
somehow I got PREGNANT. like in the universe there was still no possible way or reason I could get pregnant like real life but it was just sort of generally accepted by everyone and I didn’t realize until too late bc I didn’t show at all and I was like pissed off but not as mad and scared as I should have been. time passes and like the dream literally covers me working at The Greek Restaurant while pregnant and talking to people at The Office about it etc etc then one day I am home alone and I go into labour and then I just don’t tell anyone except texting Sydney like “damn this is crazy” so I somehow agonizingly deliver this baby in my house alone and then I’m PISSED cuz it’s a boy.
mom gets home and I’m like “I had the baby” and she was like “oh cool” and posts a photo on Facebook and her friend comments like “he looks blue... something is wrong with him” but like nothing happens.
just as expected I am a terrible mother. I keep forgetting he exists and then don’t change his diaper for like three days. there’s a little mailbox outside our house where I keep receiving pamphlets because I joined a My Favourite Murder Motherhood Facebook group and then I somehow accidentally put the baby in a bag and leave it in the mailbox. later I’m freaking out cuz I’m like where did I put the baby I’ve lost the baby and realized it’s been in the mailbox for three days so I run out and pull out the bag and he feels cold and stiff in the bag and I’m like oh shit he’s dead but then he suddenly starts moving and masterfully reciting spoken word poetry and he’s just like fine. then [REDACTED] and their crew are there and they’re celebrating his spoken word abilities and my family is emotional about his talent for the arts.
it has been like two weeks and I still have not named him. I considered naming him Remy despite that being my cats name already. I also keep trying to tweet about how crazy it was that I birthed something despite not having had sex but didn’t wanna seem uncool for not having sex

8/20/2018

I was babysitting The Girls and we went to a sandwich shop on a cliff's edge. S ordered a "complex soup" and we were regulars here apparently so things were normal and I was gonna get a soup but they were like “oh a complex for u right? I’ll get to you later” (a complex meant a personal combo of meats) so S ordered her soup and then E went to order and ordered a painting of “the cruxication of crisp” aka the Crucifixion of Christ. Like she ordered them to paint Christ’s death at a sandwich shop. And THEY DID the lady got out the canvas and started laying out an under painting and was like “ok so we’ll have him down here about to be launched onto the cross” but E was like “no he should be on the cross already and make sure he’s high up enough where it would actually kill him” and they finished the underpainting and were like “ok we'll send it off to be finished” and then I ordered my sandwich and at this point there was a huge line behind us.
so they were like “ok we'll finish these up and you can come back and get them so we can start on these other people” and gave me the bill and it was over 100 dollars. even though individually the bill listed each meal (the painting counted as a meal) as 10 bucks plus a $2 fee for “coming back 2 minutes early to get the food” and three $12 things equaled $100 and I just didn’t question it.
until I realized I DIDNT HVE MY WALLET and was digging around my bag trying to find ANYTHING. I found a $10 visa gift card and sixty bucks in cash and I was thinking about calling home to get my credit card number and then my alarm went off and I woke up with such profound relief that I didn't register my disappointment at not getting to see the finished painting until much later.