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OFFICIAL COLA RANKING

I do not consider myself a cola connoisseur. In highschool when I worked at The Restaurant I would drink the RC Cola they had on tap and thought it was delicious and tasted the same as Coke and Pepsi. I was actually sort of actively cruel to cola connoisseurs because if a customer asked me ”do you have coke?” I’d say yes and if another customer asked me “do you have pepsi?” I would also say yes and then give both of them a glass of RC Cola. To me they were identical and I assumed everyone who claimed to taste a difference was lying, caught up in some fabricated marketing war between the two cola conglomerates.

Valentine’s Day 2025: my girlfriend wanted to conduct a single-blind taste test cola experiment with me, mostly so she, as a general cola fan, could see which of the different types appealed most to her across brands and types. I had no qualms with this. I love making lists even of things I don’t care that much about.

Through this process I learned that I could actually mostly tell the difference between Coke and Pepsi when they were tasted back to back. However that did not mean I could accurately identify which was which. My girlfriend watched as I sat blindfolded, sipping a Coke and saying “yeah that’s definitely the Pepsi” before moving on to the Pepsi and saying “yuuup that’s got the extra kick that makes me think of a Coke”. I went back and forth maybe ten times fully convinced each drink was the other.

In a particularly cruel moment, my girlfriend handed me two sips of just Pepsi back to back and I launched into an impassioned rant about what I liked about the two different flavours I just tasted.

In the end, having convinced myself that the Coke I was drinking was Pepsi, I chose it as my number one, secretly pleased that I preferred Pepsi as it appeased the annoying contrarian that lives in my brain. When I took off the blind fold to see my ranking order I looked like this: (insert img)

Here is my official ranking, not that it should mean much coming from someone who tasted things the way I did.
  1. Classic Coca Cola
  2. Classic Pepsi
  3. Mango Pepsi
    • Objectively, I think this one actually tasted the best, but the idea of having it as more than a once a year treat felt a little sick and twisted so that made it feel like it couldn’t be a number one placement.
  4. Vanilla Coca Cola
  5. Pepsi Cola Soda Shop
    • (cane sugar instead of corn syrup).
  6. Pepsi Nitro Vanilla Draft Cola
    • This one was strange. Essentially just like a slightly flat vanilla pepsi. I enjoy flat pop though so it was pleasant for me.
  7. Cherry Coca Cola
  8. Wild Cherry Pepsi
  9. Orange Cream Coca Cola
  10. Vanilla Coke Zero
    • Here begins the Zero & Diet section of the list, because I hate fake sugar so much that it instantly catapulted these to the bottom the of the list the second I tasted them
  11. Coke Zero
  12. Diet Coke
  13. Cherry Coke Zero
  14. Diet Pepsi
  15. Pepsi Zero

and here is my girlfriend's for comparison.
  1. Classic Coca Cola
  2. Mango Pepsi
  3. Classic Pepsi
  4. Diet Pepsi
  5. Vanilla Coca Cola
  6. Pepsi Zero
  7. Coke Zero
  8. Cherry Coca Cola
  9. Orange Cream Coca Cola
  10. Pepsi Cola Soda Shop
  11. Cherry Coke Zero
  12. Diet Coke
  13. Pepsi Nitro Vanilla Draft Cola
  14. Wild Cherry Pepsi
  15. Vanilla Coke Zero

ARTIFICIAL FRUIT FLAVOURS

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